Ha! No one delegates like I do.
For yes, I’ve outsourced approving whether YOU get to read this—to you. It was funny when I thought of it.
And now it’s my fate.
Yes, what a phantasmal day this shapes up to be!
And it only gets better.
The following list of minimum entries for the ‘Meditations’ section of this Substack publication was once the sole text—now actually edited for informational and comedic effect—unmeant for the eyes of readers other than myself, and a few dozen silent supporters I can’t seem to evade—
1 ‘Meditation’ per Concept from Brain Science & Self-Development (*550+).
1 ‘Meditation’ per Worldly Ideology (700+).
1 ‘Meditation’ per General Object of Interest (100+).
3 ‘Meditations’ per Comedic Device (60+), Including my Own, yet Concretely Undefined, so Roughly Estimating (15+).
1 ‘Meditation’ per Iron Maiden Album (15+).
1 ‘Meditation’ per Non-Ingredient Ingredient (1000+).
3 ‘Meditations’ per Celebrity Couple I’d Otherwise Ignore (100+). Ooh—
1 ‘Meditation’ per Species of Tree Around the World (10,000+).
1 ‘Meditation’ per Miraculous Phenomenon Observed Across the Universe a Moment Ago, I Assume (10^184.305+).
300 ‘Meditations’ Still About Cats (300+).
1000 Other Incredibly Specific ‘Meditations’ (1000+).
200 ‘Meditations’ of Lower Specificity (200+).
*numbers reflect a chosen count, not total options per category; reduced informational value in this format is noted for future masterpiecesTotal= Restraint Prevailing, 10^184.305+ ‘Meditations’—
I might have been more specific. The other counts did little to budge the decimal point, since the miraculous phenomena assumed to have been observed across the universe—only moments ago.
My view was finite. I could only confirm some.
Still, there are too many!
And so here I stand once more, having raised expectations high beyond my confidence to deliver the results—
I’m now deep in thought.
If I’m fated as a fraud, then the least I can do is laugh, and breathe, and dance, and enjoy this short life while—I have the chance.
And who knows, I may yet consider a superior path to sleeping well at night.
Someday.
Inspiring. I’ll be heading over to the neighbourhood centre later this morning to pitch my Heavy Metal Meditation classes. Run to the Hills is surely the perfect track to help aging beard guys get in touch with their feelings.